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QUANTITY QUALITY: MARRIAGE

Some people say that time is more valuable than money these days. It seems like everybody is busy. So, if we want our relationships to work, it means giving them a quantity of time to get to the quality moments.

Whoever thinks that having kids can save a marriage has no idea what they are talking about. Don't get me wrong I love my kids, but kids take away many moments I could have with Stephani. I saw a comic strip that said as a parent you don't have any free time - the joke was paying a babysitter (it is funnier if you see it). Steph and I are trying something new. We like to have date nights, but they can get expensive. So, we have a planned date night, but sometimes we stay in...so we shut off the TV and play a game, sit on the deck, or do something interactive. The key is to make sure we spend a quantity of time to find those quality moments. 

So what do you do to prioritize time in your marriage?

SUNDAY RECAP FOR JUNE 28

ONE PRAYER: WEEK FOUR

GOD IS...STRONG

RECAP

Opening Song: Show Me What I'm Looking For...we can't fit God in our box. That is one thing we heard today as Francis Chan spoke via video at The Journey as part of our One Prayer Series. We are joining with over a million people around the world as we look at who God is. Francis Chan talked about how big God is...He is the Creator of all things and whatever He does is fair. He shared a quote from Rev. McGee..."God is over all the universe and does as He pleases. You might have better ways to do things, but you don't have a universe." God is strong and we can have confidence because He is with us. We can have strength. Francis Chan talked about a guy at his church. He is on the ESPN World's Strongest Man competition. He said that even his wife could beat him up. What is these two huge people had little skinny kids? Wouldn't that be weird? We have a God who is huge, strong. Are we, as his children, weak? We can have confidence and can have a powerful life because He is with us. 

THOUGHTS

- Francis Chan used a lot of tradition church thoughts and communication, but it was still good

- I watched this Francis Chan video 4 times. That Golf story was still funny each time.

- People show up even later in the summer

- We have hit the summer down turn the last two weeks but we are still up way more than last year.

- One Thing to Know: Baptisms at the Beach next week at 11. No regular services.

- I felt out of it today. Trying to get back into it after vacation. Also, my fingers were killing me. I burnt my fingers and this was the first time really playing guitar after that. 

- I like that opening song...I can't get it out of my head. 

VIDEO

Francis Chan Message

SONGS

Show Me What I'm Looking For - Carolina Liar

Yellow/All I Need - Coldplay/Hillsong United

Almighty God - Tim Hughes

Who You Are - Desperation Band

In Wonder - Newsboys

Solid Rock - Delirious

FRIDAY FACTS

I met with Mark yesterday and heard more about the Kenya Trip. Proud of our Journeyers - all you gave - and all who went and made a difference half way across the world. Good stories at church on July 13. You can see pics on Mark's blog.

It has been hot lately. I am not a big fan of the heat.

Mark told me that it was 75 with a nice breeze every day in Kenya and when they all got off the plane 

Chicago and it was like 90 degrees. They were like...let's go back to Africia. Funny.

Back at with the band last night...my fingers were sore where I burnt them. Some good tunes for Sunday.

NBA last night. I was wrong about Blair. Piston could have taken him in the first and second round. Instead, they picked Daye aka the new Tyshaun Prince. I totally expect to see Prince traded in the near future. I still think he could go to the Clippers for Kaman or Camby. 

The draft was interesting because it was very unpredictable. I think we will look back and see some guys that shouldn't have been past up on and over all this was a weak draft.

Good trades in NBA. Magic picked up Vince Carter. Spurs get Richard Jefferson. (both former teammates) Those moves are both better than the Shaq trade by the Cavs.

Tigers swept the Cubs series last night. I watch parts of all the games. My two favorite teams, but the Tigers have first place in my priority so I was glad to see a great series and to see them win. 

Rodney makes me nervous every time he comes in to close a game.

I need to work on the playground at my house this weekend.

Date Night Tonight with Steph. Not sure yet what we are doing.

Michael Jackson died. I was watching some videos last night. He was a strange guy but that dude can sing, dance and he was a big time entertainer. I remember having Thriller on Vinyl. Watching it on Friday Night Video and doing the moonwalk on our shag carpet in the living room. 

STEPS NOT PROGRAMS

From Day One of The Journey, we didn't want to just offer a ton programs or try to meet every need. We wanted to keep things simple and help people take next steps in their relationship with Jesus. Programs can meet a need in a moment but often lead people no where. We want people to take first steps, then next steps in their relationship with Jesus. This is why we talk about steps, not programs (we stole the phrase from North Point). We believe next steps happen in relationships so we focus on three key relationships at The Journey...with God, with other supportive (be a friend, have a friend), and with people who don't know Jesus. 

Here are some more thoughts about programs from Tim Stevens on his blog today:

As pastors, we have a tendency to burden our people with excessive expectations. The average Joe church member can't possibly do everythingyou say they should do. Don't believe me? See if this list defines some of your expectations of the Christians who attend your church...

1. Attend church service weekly.
2. Volunteer during another service
3. Attend Bible study or Sunday school or midweek service (whatever brand your church offers).
4. Serve in a ministry that helps the poor and needy.
5. If you are a leader (and we know who you are), then we'll have a few moremeetings to attend, contacts to make, events to organize and teams to rally.
6. Attend periodic special events hosted by the church.
7. Be a great husband or wife and invest time in your marriage.
8. Oh, and make sure you are involved in mens' or womens' ministry.
9. Get in a small group and meet regularly.
10. If you are a man, you must be in a mens' small group for accountability. Otherwise we know you look at porn.
11. If you are married, you probably should also be in a couples group if you care about your spouse.
12. Read your Bible every day. Anything less than 30 minutes is probably not enough.
13. Be a good citizen. Vote and get involved in your community.
14. Give ten percent of every penny that you make. And give to the special offerings. And give to the kids going on the missions trip. And give to the building fund.
15. Go on a missions trip. Been on a local trip? Overseas is your next step.
16. Invest in relationships in your neighborhood and at your workplace.
17. Invite people to church. Every week. The purpose of that, of course, is so you can get them to church so they can do #1 through #16 above.

This list wears me out just reading it...and I'm a pastor! Just think what it does to normal people in our church. They keep trying and trying, doing and attending, but then life catches up and they feel like they can't ever keep up with our expectations. They feel deflated.

Because on top of everything we expect, everyone else in their life also has expectations of them. They have sports events to attend and in-laws to keep happy and PTA events to organize. They have complicated family relationships to navigate, second jobs to find so they can put braces on the kids and keep food on the table. And many of them are involved in really good endeavors building into their communities or helping the under-resourced.

Sometimes I think we need to get a clue. We need a wake-up call. Some people are saying (or thinking),"Hey Church...we're just not that into you. You are teaching us some great things and we are growing in our love of Jesus. But we can't possibly do everything you are asking...give us a break!"

In a culture that is ever more complex and insanely busy, if we really want to help we will find ways to help them integrate a walk with Jesus in the context of their lives. We will ease up on our expectation of attendance and activity--and instead focus on spiritual outcomes. WARNING: This is VERY difficult to do because it is so hard to measure--and church leaders LOVE to measure stuff (me included!).

NBA DRAFT

Tonight is the NBA Draft. Here is my prediction...Blake Griffin will go #1 and I think the Pistons will draft the new Rick Mahorn...from Pitt - DeJuan Blair. At least I can go 50/50 with those predictions. Blair is tough, a strong rebounder and fits the Bad Boys image. I also think there is a good chance Detroit could take Suton from MSU with the 3rd pick of the second round (Paul would like this I'm sure). The draft should be very interesting this year...not predictable.

 There have already been some interesting trades...Shaq will not push the Cavs other the edge to win the championship. Shaq will bring some leadership, another scoring option, defense, but also possibly injuries and old knees. Shaq can't guard the pick and roll which killed the Cavs vs. the Magic. They need to move LeBron off the ball more and let Mo run the point too. They will have some good times in the pregame for sure. For the Pistons, I think Hamilton and Prince will be traded and Wallace will be gone. I think they should keep Rip. I think Stuckey and Maxiell are overrated so they should be packaged in a deal too. I think Marcus Camby or Kaman might be coming to the Motor City. They should have kept Billups and Hamilton, have Stuckey come off the bench via Vinny "the microwave" Johnson. The can sign Boozer and trade for Camby...they got something going then. We will see. 

HIDE AND SEEK

I met with Paul this morning and we discussed some peoples attitude about church. He came across a blog that talked about how people feel they need to HIDE areas of their life at church. Like people or God wouldn't accept them if they really knew who they were or what they did. The truth is that nothing can separate us from God and His love (Romans 8:38-39). We say this all the time at The Journey...no matter who you are and no matter what you've done...we are and God is there for you. So we begin an initial conversation about we can take bigger steps to help people SEEK God without hiding or putting on masks. I want my life and our church to express Jesus' attitude...come as you are. don't hide. seek God. 

i'm back - vacation is over

I just wrapped up 11 days off. It was good time with Steph and the kids. We did a lot of special one day things. We also went up north. My in-laws have a place with a pool and they have a boat. I had some projects to do around the house. I wanted to build a playground in the back yard and stain my deck. I didn't finish the playground yet and I didn't get to the deck because of the rain and now high heat. Also I burnt my fingers on my mower. I had 2nd degree burns on 3 fingers on my left hand. They are getting better - right now they feel like I have band aids on but I don't. Kinda weird.

We didn't do anything big - it is kinda hard with Eli - he still takes 2 naps everyday. Besides spending good time with Steph and the kids, I just wanted to shut down my mind. I also "unplugged" - no emails, no twitter, no blog, no facebook, no internet, and didn't really answer my phone. That was really good. It took me about 4 days to shut my brain off and now I feel refreshed. You should try it sometime. 

churches

I am on vacation so here are some top posts from the past years. This one fits in with us joining with other One Prayer churches...

When we started the Journey, some people were fearful that we would steal people from their church. There is this weird attitude in the church world of competition - when really we are all on the same team. We weren’t worried about it because we are trying to connect with unchurched people. However, with this attitude comes some smack talk and bad mouthing too. I think it is weird. 

I came across this Facebook group the other day - the whole thing was christians bad mouthing and working against a well known pastor. While I do always agree with methods, I think we should be more encouraging than discouraging. That is why we celebrate new churches in our area (high five for the launch of Renovate this month) and even help them launch (the Deep). We are all on the same team. 

We got a comment with no return address or name attached this week about how the Journey isn’t deep enough. Not the first time I have heard this - we have heard it from people who have never been to the Journey even. I laughed when I saw it, mainly because it had all the classic terms and phrases of that complaint. I have seen more life change in my 4 years at The Journey than I seen in my whole life in church. I used to hear people bad mouth Kainay in town...they can reach people, but can’t disciple them. What the comment really means is...I’m not reaching people so I will just complain. Every pastor gets this same comment and they all say the same things...we have heard some big guys like Ed Young, Andy Stanley, Rob Bell and many others share how people say they are not deep and it was the same words as the email we got...funny. Anyways, we need a variety of churches to reach a variety of people. We know that The Journey isn’t for everyone and we like to be supportive of churches. So, if you can’t connect with God or connect with others at The Journey or if we haven’t motivated you to  live out your faith - there are lots of other good churches in West Michigan. We are all on the same team.

reality tv

I am on vacation right now...but I am sharing some of my favorite posts for the past couple years....

REALITY TV: There are a lot of reality tv shows now days...we watch a few like Nitro Circus, 24 (that’s real right?), and American Idol. Steph watches Survivor. Wipeout started last night. Emma was really excited. She screamed with glee when she saw the big red balls. 

There was nothing on Monday night. I was doing some work. Steph was watching the Bachelorette and John and Kate + 8. I was laughing at them. There has been dozens of season of the Bachelor and only one couple has ever made it, yet people say stuff like they are there to find their true love. It was sad to see John and Kate disconnected. We went out with Paul and Jen Urban the other night and she said she would never want to be on a reality show because it’s bad for relationships - no one makes it. John & Kate life is now turned into a business. They both say they are there for their kids. The reality is a strong marriage is best for the kids (remember the family org chart for our desperate household series?). What if it was best if they quit the show? Could they do it? Would they do it? The reality is we all have issues and struggles in life. The reality is that usually the hard thing and the best thing are the same (as stated by the Fray). I hope that as we are in a recession or as you face issues with your spouse or family or as you make decisions to take next steps with God - I hope and pray you will have the strength, courage, and desire to do the hard thing, the best thing. Don’t let life wipe you out.

one prayer

Tomorrow at church, it will be week 3 of the one prayer series. I will still be on vacation. If you want to see more one prayer messages, you can watch video messages on these churches websites...

Granger Community Church

Lifechurch.tv

Newspring

National Community Church